Another month has flown by, and another self-imposed deadline was missed. I've been procrastinating a TON lately. On everything. Important things, unimportant things, easy things, hard things. To be honest, I've just been having a bit of a tough time, personally.
I honestly don't really know who reads this blog… but I know some people do. I see the visits to my facebook page and to the site itself. If you know me well, you may not even know that I've struggled with depression in the past. It's not something I love to talk about or broadcast to the world, but as of late I've decided it's important to share the tough stuff along with the good when the time and place is right. For the last couple of months, I've been fighting with negative feelings, self-doubt, exhaustion, and fear. It's a battle that I don't think serves anyone by keeping it silent.
I've been feeling unsure of what's next for me, my business, and my life. Right now I don't feel like I'm striving for anything and it's making me feel stuck. It's a little scary to not be working towards anything specific… just aimlessly going through the motions of the daily grind, keeping things at status quo. I feel like I'm in a bit of an existential crisis… must be part of being in my almost-mid-thirties!
Either way, I just thought I'd share a little bit of what's on my heart, in case anyone else is going through anything similar. It seems a little silly to just write my typical monthly update when I'm dealing with these big life questions… but for the sake of checking this off my list… here's what I was up to in April:
Barb came to visit from Tennessee! We spent time shuffling around the city in the freezing cold. It was a quick, cold visit… and somehow we didn't even take a photo together. #fail We did, however, visit The Fearless Girl, and she is amazing. #girlpower
I filmed a video for CNBC!
This was pretty exciting! I got to work with the team at CNBC: Make It! on a fun video about ways to save money on weddings. It was really fun, and a great experience shooting it. The team I worked with was super helpful and made up of some really cool women, which was extra cool, in my opinion.
Had a visit from Kim and Jay
My sister and her boyfriend made a quick long-weekend trip to NYC to see some shows and hang with us. It was so fun having them here, eating really delicious food, and showing them around New York. The only bummer is that it was such a short trip. I hope that they're able to come back again soonish!
Ate a Momofuku Noodle Bar
This restaurant had been on our list for a while, but we never made the effort to go until Kim and Jay came to visit. It was on Jay's list of “must-haves” so we got there super early for dinner service to ensure we could eat before our evening shows. Suffice it to say, it was worth the hype. Their ramen was 🙌🏼💯😍
Saw Dear Evan Hansen
This show had been on our list for some time, so when Kim and Jay came to town with plans to see it, Eric and I decided it was time we made it happen, too. We purchased tix on StubHub for the first time ever, and though we did have to pay a bit above face value, it was worth every penny. This show was insanely good and I am still emotionally wrecked from Ben Platt's performance. If this kid doesn't win the Tony, I'm going to flip a table.
Saw Waitress with Sara Bareilles
I'd already seen this show last year with my friend Jayme, but when we found out Sara Bareilles was going to be playing the lead role in the musical that she wrote the songs and lyrics for… we knew we couldn't miss it. We ended up front row and it couldn't have been more amazing. I was really impressed by Sara's acting chops and of course, her music sounded so amazing with her voice singing it! I've always loved her as a musical artist, so it was a real treat to see her live in a Broadway show!
Started painting my nails
In less exciting news, I think I've finally grown up as a woman, because I now can paint my own nails. It all started when I was given some free samples of the new Essie Gel Couture collection from Monique Lhullier from the PR rep for the brand. I decided to give it a shot and suffice it to say, I've become hooked! I've been painting my nails using this two-step gel polish every week for the last month and my nails are longer and stronger than ever. This stuff seriously lasts all week, so color me impressed. Painting my nails has become my weekly ritual — I'm really enjoying pampering myself a little at home, without spending any money!
Celebrated 150 Years of Pi Beta Phi
Since moving to New York, I've tried to get involved in the local alumni club for my sorority, Pi Beta Phi. Though I'm not able to attend events as often as I'd like, I decided to make the effort to join in the celebration for Founder's Day since this year marked 150 years since we were founded. It's super cool how connected the community of alumni are, considering everyone went to different universities and were involved in different chapters. It's a really unique experience to be connected by sisterhood! It also made me feel pretty old to celebrate among the current college-aged gals in the NYU chapter. 😂 I hope to be more plugged in to the group in the future!
Went to a Tulip Festival
Last year we stumbled upon a tulip festival at the Upper West Side Community Garden, and this year I marked my calendar to check it out again. It's such an amazing display of different varieties of tulips. Eric and I spent an hour or so looking at the flowers and people watching, and I took about 1000 photos with my phone. I basically have screensaver-worthy pictures of tulips for life. I'm pretty sure this tulip festival is one of my favorite spring activities in NYC!
Attended a taping of Live with Kelly
My friend Jayme scored us tickets to a taping of Live with Kelly where Lea Michele (my fave!) was the special guest. Of all the TV tapings I've been to in NYC, this one was the most laid back. Security checkpoint was very low-key, they didn't care if you took photos in the studio or even if you left your phone on during the show. It was kind of crazy, actually, because there's typically SO many rules to follow. LL Cool J was also a guest on the show, so that interview was also enjoyable. We had the best time and it was so great to hear Lea sing Run to You another song from her new album, Places!
Attended Tux Con
Eric and I suited up in our Sunday Best and strutted through the streets of New York with a large group of friends for Tux Con III. Basically, everyone dresses up in fancy clothes and goes on a bar crawl. Much more refined than Santa Con, if you ask me! It was a fun excuse to put on an old bridesmaids dress and put on makeup… something I rarely do anymore!!
Also on the list of things that happened in April was paying our taxes. This year we owed more than we ever have before, thanks to my awesome business year in 2016. As much as it pained me to write that check, I am also very proud of what I made happen. I'm trying not to put too much pressure on myself to reach or surpass what I did last year, but so far 2017 is shaping up pretty well.
So that pretty much covers April. May's already a third of the way over… we'll see if I can complete the May update on time. 😉 Thanks for reading, if you do… see ya in a few weeks!